Bill and Sam

Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to
feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One
day Bill didn't show up. Sam wasn't concerned; he thought Bill might
have a cold or some urgent appointment. But after Bill hadn't shown up
for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since Sam didn't know
where Bill lived (the only time they ever got together was at the park) he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

After a month had passed, Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill. On
his next visit to the park, however, Bill was sitting on their usual
bench waiting for him.
Amazed and delighted, Sam exclaimed,
'For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?'

Bill replied, 'I've been in jail.'
'Jail?' cried Sam. 'You?! What on earth for?'
'Well,' Bill said, 'you know Sue , that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?'

'Yes,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?'

'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me. At age 89,
I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty.'
'The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.'

Yeah, and did you hear that Sam went to the doctor for a checkup, and the doctor says, "For a man of 78 years you are in amazing health, how old did your father live to be?"

Sam says, "Did I say he was dead?"
Doctor, "Oh my, I'm sorry, how old is your father?"
Sam, "He's 96, still lives at home and drives his own car."
Doctor, "Wow, you must have some great genes in your family, how old did your grandfather live to be?"
Sam, "Did I say he was dead? He's 113 years old and he's getting married next Saturday."
Doctor, " Why would a man 113 years old want to get married?"

Sam, "Did I say he wanted to get married?"

LOL!!! Good one, John.

Here's another:

An old man was sitting at a park bench crying his eyes out.

A young man happened along and took pity on the old man asking, "Why are you crying, old timer?"

The old man answered, "Well, you see, I'm married to a sweet young lass of twenty five and we start every day with sex. Then I come home for lunch and we have sex again before we eat. Then, in the evening, after we have dinner, we have another rousing round of sex before bedtime."

The young man was confused and dumbfounded. "It sounds to me like you have an absolutely wonderful life," he said. "Why are you crying?"

"Because," stammered the old man between sobs, "I can't remember where I live!"

Kyreb1862 Wrote: