Non MG but might be worth a laugh

Hi All,
Read this and laugh at my expense - Im laughing at it now.

Last Thursday (my only day off) I went, with my son-in-law, to Portland (300+ miles one way) to pick up a 1980 Anniversary Datsun 280z and spare engine that his grandmother had given him. Not owning a trailer or tow dolly we figured we would be kind to my Mazda B400 4L 4x4 and hire one down there (one way hire).

Well apart from some roadworks that also contained a fallen over travel trailer - took 7 songs on the radio to travel one mile - the trip down was uneventful.

Got to his grnas place and looked at the 280 - seemd OK except for a rusty drivers door and blown head gasket. So off we go to U-Haul to rent a trailer. They wouldnt rent me one because my tow system was aafter market bumper mounted tow package (rated for 5000lbs capacity). So bakc to the house. Pull the receiver and hitch from his cousins Ranger Pickup (cousing not there and he had the keys), driop the bumper from the Mazda and bolt up the receiver and hitch. Back to U-Haul.

Well after a lengthy discussion about the poor fitting hitch (it came from a long bed and mine is a short bed) they rented me the dolly. Inside the shop we had more fun. $60 fee if we return it to this store. $220 for a one way hire. I said #@$% I could buyone for about that and his reply was "Yes I can sell you this one for another $100. Anyway we paid for a one way hire.

Back at the house - remove the hitch,replace my bumper system. Hook up the dolly and push load the 280Z. Oh yes the reciever/hitch was only rated for 3500lbs. Away we went heading back to Baker.

The trip home ? Slow but uneventful. Made it back to Baker around 1am Friday and I was due back at work at 8am. Work was another story - Ive worked 4 straight shiftssince Friday as my alternative quit by simply walking out. No woinder Im going bald.

Hmmmmmmmmm & for a paltry $1800 you could be the owner of one of my 'theAutoist' custom MG trailers (but it'll also hold a Corvair!).....delivery not included!

While I was in N�Awlns, my Pop and I stopped for a Pint / 2 Pitch.
Since it was only 14:30, on a Friday the place was not crowded.

There in this �Old Irish/English Pub�, off the beaten path(Near the Irish Channel), where sitting 7 gentleman of European Heritage.
Twice now they bayed to us to joint them. After some coxing, I persuaded my Father to join them.

After a few pints, my dad started telling them the history and culture of the �People of their Own Country�(this made them Mad)!!

This opened the discussion up on the relationship of Europe and America. I let my Father and these 7 gentlemen go at it.

I just controlled the conversation, by asking questions and let them battle it out. After 14 pitchers of Bier/Beer/Ale(What ever) and a $168.USDs bill, with Dinner for 9 on my Credit Card. This is what I found out:

Europeans are truly sorry for the disasters that happen to the United States in the past 17 odd Years, but underneath they would like to see us come down a notch or two. It just could not happen to a better country..
Reason:
1. You are soo �Independent / Self-Sufficient / "Counties have no Economic Leverage".
2. You steal our best and brightest people, as soon as they graduate from Collage they go to America, to complete their degree, to stay in your country, they just come back to visit.
3. You say you are supporting us, but it is always when it is in your interest, not ours.
4. You are technology 25 years advance, to the rest of the world. �That makes us uneasy��
5. You are the only �Super-Power�, which means you do what you want. �You Bully us!!!�
6. You have shown the World that not only do you have a Superior Technical Army, but you can do it with a lot less soldiers.
7. �You fart we smell it�, if �We fart we smell it�..
8. You have a war, it is over here that that the casualties and collateral damage happens.
9. You disagree with us it is our economy that suffers / if we disagree with you it is our economy that suffers..
10. It is a lose-lose situation

Other words we do not hate you, we just think the game is rigged in your "Favor / Advantage".

I have learned to leave my Dad home, when going to "Old Irish/English Pubs"

Hey, life's a bitch! somebody's gotta fill the void! might as well be us! If anybody else wants the job, contact the White House, washington DC with qualifications/experience!

I would, but they won't let me! Something about a constitutional amendment that says you have to be born here!

On the other hand, imagine what fun we could have if I were President:

MGB is White House Limo!
I get to log left seat time in a 747!
Flat tax rate with no tax below some cutoff.
Keep government out of peoples lives.
You can't claim that Ford/Chevy/Anybody caused your car to crash if you were drunk/talking on cell phone/unbelted at the time of the accident.
Driving below the speed limit in the left lane would be a Federal Offence/considered un-American and be liable to the death sentance.
Putting wings/wide wheels/racing muffler on an AUTOMATIC Honda Civic will result in lifetime suspension of driving license!
Ralph Nader (and all his buddies) will be forced to drive Trabants until they publish a paper admitting they are stupid and the best way to make driving safe is to make drivers THINK!

Anybody wanna be Vice-Pres?

Yeah Eric, I'll take a shot at that VP gig. But it's gonna cost you.
My price:
1. ALL manufactured goods will have end-of-cycle costs factored into the purchase price. If it is recyclable, it's cheaper.
2. ALL services will have possible litigation costs factored into the transaction price. Attorneys will be restricted to this fund for recovery purposes.
3. Journalism becomes a 6 year degree program and the practice thereof is subject to the same laws of Truth-In-Advertising.
4. ... there's more... (of course) but I'll leave it at that.

My first few trips to the track in 1986-87 were with an old home-built utility trailer that weighed 2,450 lbs empty. Then I bought an honest-to-goodness car trailer (open center section in the deck) for $1200. It only weighs 1100 lbs, has double axles and brakes on one axle, and has to be one of the best investments I ever made. It's strong (hauled my Ford F250 on it once when it broke away from home), easy to pull (several trips from Houston to Ardmore Oklahoma with a 2800 lb Chevy behind the F250 at hiway speeds plus) and light (trailer plus 2200 lb Pinto behind a Chevy Luv) and still very useful! Last summer a friend used it to haul all the sheet metal for an 18X28 garage. Everybody with a truck needs a good trailer!

While you are at it: make an amendment that would make it illegal for lawyers to hold public offices and set a cap the representatives can pay for legal advice and you will get my vote (twice if they would let me).

Mickey - Move to Chicago & follow the Daley's rule: Vote early and often.

Simon - I wish there were an alternative to UHaul & Ryder for these situations but they aren't out there, as far as I know.

an't move to Chicago Daley closed Miggies Field and it is to cold to enjoy much top down ridding..

I still think that the wheels are to far back!! Most of the weight would be on the hitch!!

Looks like they could use some help right now!!! :o) They have a lot of people putting out fires!! Maybe you should head back Tony!! :o)

If I had a spare $1800 I'd buy one - for the Dodge Colt race car..

Actually there is - next time I'll tow the empty dolly instead of doing the run empty..