Witicisms on aging.

Life is easy. It's the freakin' people that make it difficult.

In dog years, I'm dead.

Fishmore & Doolittle. Retirement planners & consultants.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to food.

Young at heart. Slightly older in other places.

Geezer (ge-zer) - noun. slang. Not young, Not dead. Somewhere in between.

I don't think about dying. It's the last thing I want to do.

I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going.

Don't worry about your health. It'll go away.

I don't excercise! It makes my coffee spill.

I just can't get started until I've had a piping hot pot of coffee in the morning. Oh, I've tried other enemas.

At my age...'Gettin' any?' means sleep.

Eat right and exercise. Die anyway.

I'm retired. I was tired yesterday. I'm tired again today.

At my age...happy hour is a nap.

Goodbye tension...hello pension!

Live each day like it's your last. One day, you'll get it right.

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your Nursing Home.

At my age, the only thing that gets hard, is my arteries.

I belive in having sex on the first date. At my age, there may not be a second.

I've been diagnosed with C.R.S. Can't Remember Sh*t.

The only trouble with retirement...you never get a damn day off!

Senility ain't bad. I wrap my own Christmas presents. I never watch reruns. I can hide my own Easter eggs and I get to meet new people every day.

Support Bingo. Keep Grandma off the streets.

C&P'd to my Father. He'll appreciate the advice. *snicker*

Sad thing is - I can identify with most of that.

Me too, Owen! I can really relate to .......what were we talking about?

I quit going to the library. I own three books. By the time I finish reading them, I can't remember the first one.

And everyone keeps saying they hate summer re-runs on TV. Whats a re-run?